You’ve been there – you get a sick feeling in the pit of your stomach as anxiety overcomes you because you know that you’re in a toxic relationship. Things aren’t working anymore, and it seems that all you two do is fight, nit-pick, and nag each other to death. Perhaps, there could be more serious issues in the mix like infidelity, or your life goals don’t align.
The hardest part about being at this stage of a relationship is knowing that you need to end things but not having the courage or strength to do it. Some people find comfort in unhealthy relationships because it’s what’s familiar to them. Others are afraid of jumping back into the dating pool where they perceive the fish are piranhas or sharks.
When you suffer from a breakup, it can be emotionally taxing on you. Not to mention dodging all the questions from friends and family members who want to know why things didn’t work out. Reliving the story as you tell each one can be a daunting task.
However, there’s nothing worse than staying in a toxic relationship. A study conducted by the University of Ontario showed that 18 percent of people stay in relationships long past the expiration date because they are afraid of being single. So if you’ve waited too long because you’re scared of going solo, then you are not alone.
WHEN DO YOU KNOW IT’S THE RIGHT TIME TO GO?
The toxicity from your relationship can affect your self-esteem and also cloud your judgment. Before you consider giving up on a man or woman you’ve invested a great deal of time and energy into, you need to determine if it’s a toxic partnership or if it’s one that can be saved.
All couples will have troubles, and it’s how you handle these difficulties that measure your strength. If there is more good in your relationship than bad, then perhaps there are things that you can work on together. The problem could be that you haven’t had much time together due to work and other obligations.
Another issue may be that one of you is still reeling from problems regarding a previous breakup. While these are issues, they are not ones that can’t be resolved. If you put a little bit of effort into making each other number one, then you might be able to salvage things.
Now on the flip side, a toxic relationship can cause you a great deal of stress in many areas of your life. When you sit back and look at all the wrong things, you may not see something that can change even with effort. One issue that may affect you emotionally is a lack of respect or commitment from your lover.
You should never put up with someone who doesn’t treat you with respect. Did you know that there have been many studies conducted on how toxic relationships can affect your psyche? Whitehall II handled a particularly interesting one in 1985.
This study examined 10,000 participants over 12 years. The people in this experiment confessed that they were in toxic relationships that brought them great distress. Of particular interest was that people with lower social standings seemed to have more negative relationships than those with high social classes.
The most important thing that the study showed was that people who had toxic relationships in their inner circle were more apt to develop cardiac trouble. The relationships of those closest to you can be the most poisonous, which can affect your health. If that doesn’t give you a good enough reason to cut the cord, what will it take?
Each person is born with an intuitive nature about them. You feel things in your gut that just let you know it’s time to move on. Don’t waste your time or energy second-guessing these feelings, as your gut will do a better job of predicting your happiness in a relationship than your heart.
WHY BEING SINGLE IS BETTER THAN STAYING IN A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP
Being single isn’t so bad. You probably have false memory perceptions of how lonely it was, but there are many advantages to being single. Once you cut the ties that bind, you can prepare for your new life.
Remember, rebound relationships are usually bad news, so it’s essential that you don’t jump right back into the ocean looking for another fish. Instead, it would help if you focused on all the things you can do that you were held back from before.
Do you have a bucket list? It would help if you started fulfilling that list of difficult things to do when you’re in a relationship. You will be more attractive to someone when you are a person that loves life and lives it to the fullest.
Just think of all the connections you will make while you’re out there, fulfilling the things you’ve always wanted to do. You’re happiest in life when you’re productive and experiencing new and exciting things.
SIX REASONS TO BE ALONE INSTEAD OF IN A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP
If you’re struggling with being single, then here are some reasons why being a party of one isn’t so bad.
1. SINGLE PEOPLE TEND TO BE HEALTHIER
Now is the time for you to focus on your health. You can lose weight and boost your immunity. Many people that are in relationships say that they don’t have time to exercise.
However, once you break off that toxic person from your life, you have more time to focus on your health.
2. THEY ARE BETTER AT MAKING AND SAVING MONEY
When there’s only one of you to feed, clothe, and pay utilities on, you can save money. Plus, you can use this time to enhance your career by furthering your education or changing jobs.
You can transfer to another state or even a country if you don’t have someone holding you back. Doors may open you never thought possible. Many single people are better at saving money because they can learn to live on less.
3. THEY HAVE MORE TIME
You don’t have to rush home after work every night to slave over a hot stove. You can pick up a new hobby and surround yourself with new and exciting people. It might be possible for you to join a book or wine tasting club. Your imagination only limits your options.
4. SINGLE PEOPLE LOVE PHILANTHROPY
Many people rush to take antidepressant drugs when life hands them blows that they can’t get over. However, one of the greatest medications you can take to help your mind is altruism.
When a breakup with that toxic individual has knocked you to rock bottom, use what energy you have left to help others go through the same thing. Helping humanity balances the toxicity and allows you to rebuild your self-esteem.
You will find contentment in life by volunteering at a charity event or a soup kitchen. Here, you will learn how blessed you are and learn to give back to others.
5. THEY HAVE MORE TIME FOR FAMILY AND FRIENDS
Now that you won’t have the old ball and chain hanging around your feet, you can be free to visit friends and family. You won’t have to worry about missing weddings, family reunions, or other events because you lack the time or your toxic partner didn’t want to go.
6. THEY REAP EMOTIONAL REWARDS FROM SOLITUDE AND SELF-SUFFICIENCY
Some people like being alone. It doesn’t mean that you want to be alone all the time, but you like the peace and quiet that comes from being the only person in the house.
You love that you can blare your music as loud as you want and that you can watch whatever television show you choose. Know that you do not have to answer anyone why you didn’t start the dishes until this morning instead of last night. You are your boss, and it can be emotionally freeing not to have anyone to answer to.
FINAL THOUGHTS ON GETTING OUT OF A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP
Have you ever seen those swimmers climb to the top of a high cliff and dive into the water below? Before they take the plunge, they feel anxiety and panic. The fear of death by hitting a rock or landing in water that’s too shallow is a real threat.
Still, something inside them pushes them to do it for the thrill and the adventure. Once they make the jump, they feel themselves fly as they land into the water below. Their body is filled with adrenaline and finally a euphoric release as they’ve just conquered something so amazing.
The free-falling experience is similar to freeing yourself from a toxic relationship. Sometimes, you must close your eyes and jump. While fears of failing or falling plague your mind, you must not worry about if you fail, but you should be focused on the ability to fly.
There’s a whole other world out there, and you’re one decision away from an entirely new life.