Jeff Haden, one of the most influential and popular people on Linkedln and the author of almost 30 business and communication books, explained how some people can easily gain the trust of everyone and create a positive image of themselves.
We invite you to puzzle out what these nine characteristics are that make a person very charming.
They’re not afraid to lose
Charming people don’t try to win at everything. On the contrary, their aim is to give more without expecting anything in return. For them, it’s not difficult to admit their mistakes, failures, or talk about their weaknesses. And it’s something that not everyone can do.
They can openly say, “I’m jealous of you,“ or ”I can’t do this, please teach me,” because they know people appreciate honesty and real emotions.
They show they’re sincerely glad to meet you
Maintaining eye contact is really important in a conversation, and people who have charisma know this for sure. They smile when you smile. They frown or nod when you do. They don’t just try to repeat everything after you. They are focused on what you’re saying and listen to you carefully, paying attention to all your emotions and words.
Such feedback helps you find a common ground with anyone and gain the trust of your interlocutor.
They look for mutual understanding
Most people unconsciously look for contradictions and disagreements, which can lead to a dispute rather than a conversation. Charming and charismatic people always seek common ground with everybody.
So just try to find something in common with your interlocutor. This helps to start an interesting conversation and get positive emotions.
They use the power of touching
Touch is a powerful tool that helps people to understand emotions better. In one experiment, scientists tried to express 12 emotions by touching their interlocutors without words. It turned out that in 50-83% of the cases these emotions were expressed correctly.
Therefore, when you want to congratulate someone, just think how to do it better. To shake hands or to pat somebody on the shoulder — this depends on a situation. This will help to prove the sincerity of your words, express the right emotions, and gain the trust of your interlocutor.
They’re good at using facial expressions and gestures
Likable people express their emotions incredibly well and accurately. They can turn even the most boring story into a really enthralling conversation. By gesticulating and making faces (when it’s appropriate), they express the mood of their story. And this helps to genuinely kindle the interest of their interlocutor.
They’re not afraid to look silly
Maybe ice skating or Twister is not their strong point, but they’re absolutely not afraid to be awkward.
Curiously enough, people respect them even more because of this.
When you’re ready to demonstrate your weaknesses and you’re not afraid to look silly, people don’t laugh at you. They laugh with you. Because everybody understands that all of this is fine.
They’re good at asking questions
Charming people can very easily make you talk about yourself. They don’t hesitate to ask questions and openly talk about themselves as well. These people genuinely want to know what you’re thinking, and this makes them trustworthy.
As soon as you’ve found out something about a particular person, just ask them more questions about it and tell something similar about yourself. This will show you have something in common that can become an interesting topic for conversation.
They always remember names
Charismatic people always remember names and other little things very accurately. The fact that someone says your name when you have only known each other for a short while or when you have only met once makes you feel more important in the conversation.
Call the person by name, and remember the names of his friends, relatives, or a pet. This person will only think positively of you.
They listen more and talk less
Most people can’t listen at all. Everybody wants to share their own news. And it’s also a nice feeling when you’re telling a story and seeing how everybody is listening to you carefully and emotionally reacting to your words. Charming people listen, and they love listening more than talking. This helps them learn more interesting things about a person and find something in common.